Tommy Peters' Bicycles

Bibi: Hey Salman, I thought I told you personally. I instructed our shoe-shine boy in Washington to cosy up to Iran - behind your back. We inked a deal with the mother of all Shiites. Salman: So, I heard, Mr Netanyahu. WTF, I don't believe this! Bibi: C'mon, Salman, stop whining.   Salman: On your orders, Mr Netanyahu, I shelled the crap out of the Shiites in Yemen, bombed their mosques in Iraq, and beheaded them in Syria. Now, you are kissing up to the mother of all Shiites. You've put me in a spot, to say the least. Even our ISIS fellows are confused as to who the enemy is. Bibi: Salman, I understand your consternation, given your Arab League, is dubbed the Arab Zionist League. Try to understand my position. I'm just following the protocols - I have no choice. At the least, and despite my best poker face, I don't think it's a clever idea to 'exchange queens' now. Salman: You're following a protocol? I thought you were the...

Published April 16, 2015 Salman: Mr Netanyahu, the FBI is stirring up the 911 affair. They implicate the House of Saud with the "missing 28 pages". There will be repercussions for us! Bibi: … repercussions on us? You mean on you! Salman: But Mr Netanyahu, we were in it together, no? If memory serves, it was a joint venture between Mossad, the CIA, and Saudi Intel, where Mossad conducted the operation. At the same time, the CIA and Saudi Intel provided logistics and ran errands. In 100 years of Mossad' false flags', this, I must say, is your 'magnum opus.' Bibi: Wash your mouth, Salman! Is this a secure line? I know it's a bit of a stretch, even for an idiot, but the official line is this: - "nineteen jihadists from your backyard armed with box cutters brought down three towers with two planes." Are we clear, Sal? Salman: Roger, Mr Netanyahu, but as laughable as it is, I trust the 'box-cutters' narrative is ...