Petrodollar without OPEC

Salman: - Erdogan has gall. He just inked a gas deal with Iran, our archenemy, and to twist the knife, the Turk agreed to pay the Shiites higher than our GCC boys are offering. Shall I organize another 'eruption' at Gezi Park? He has not learned his lesson from the earlier episode. Personally, Mr Netanyahu, I prefer the old scarf and dagger to finish him off.

Bibi: - Take a seat, Sal. My Turkish serf has no gall, nor are the Persians playing hardball. I green-lighted the deal behind your back and asked Iran to increase the price.

Salman: - What! Are you in the tank with Iran? How long has this 'affair' been going on? And how can I explain this to the council in God's name? We take pride in our all-Sunni GCC, our' coalition of the willing' set up to serve the interest of the Zionist and explicitly configured to exclude the Shiites, which Iran represents. 

Bibi: - I prefer the term 'coalition of the billing' uttered privately in successful law partnerships. I know it is less noble but brutally honest, don't you agree? The tagline has been our guiding motto at the business end of our Zionist stick. Those who work diligently in our financial interest are amply rewarded with a defined track into our 'inner circle', which comes with a stake in our fiefdom and earns our protection from the hordes lurking at the borders.

Salman: - You got me a bit nervous for a while, Mr Netanyahu. I am relieved to hear that I am in your 'inner circle.' I always regarded myself as the Underboss of Don himself. Not a mere Consigliore and not a Capo or Soldier. Those lesser designations are assigned to Turkey, Jordan, Qatar, and the other noisy bits on the periphery.

Bibi: - The elders' baulk at the Mafia and the use of its crude terminology. I prefer the 'law partnership' jargon where the vocabulary is 'legal' and 'civilized,' thus ensuring a clean, distinct soundtrack and going well at the cocktails. For too long, I was promoted, simply based on longevity, a 'wrong lawyer' as my right-hand man, and I am weighing my options in the 'interest of the firm.' At the same time, mindful that those willing to sacrifice, perform well, and provide overall profitability to the 'partnership' will earn my trust and enjoy generous lockstep increases in compensation and lifetime employment in the 'firm.' You get my drift, Sal?

Salman: - I get your drift, and take it I am the 'wrong lawyer' you promoted. A simple question, then! When are you giving the House of Saud the 'axe' in favour of Iran?

Bibi: - Salman, the word 'axe' is brutal, to say the least. Let's cut a couple of Cubans and discuss this, shall we? Your august House of Saud has been in partnership with the Zionists for almost a century. We go back a long way, Sal. Do we have to talk like this?

Salman: - Mr Netanyahu, I don't have time for a speech and coupled with the fact that I'm not stupid, I have observed the events that unfolded since 911, the magnum opus of the Mossad, have benefited and strengthened Iran and only Iran, my ideological nemesis; and now you have implied that this was your design. And if I may add, I was wrong to think that 'treachery' was the forte of the Arabs.

Bibi: - You appear to have gotten more than just a 'drift' from me, haven't you! Parked on my desk is a sign that reads, 'Don't Laugh at My Moustache.' It's an old proverb that means 'I Know More Than You Think I Know.' This sign belongs on your desk. You have earned it. My design, you say! How so, Sal? Enlighten me!

Salman: - First, with 911 as your convenient 'Pearl Harbor,' you charge into Afghanistan, Iran's traditional enemy to the east, to 'hunt down' bin Laden, the patsy of our joint venture. In the melee, you sack the Taliban-Afghan Sunni-centric administration and replace it with the Shiite variety, the ideological comrade of Iran. Result - Iran holds sway over Afghanistan.

Bibi: - You're getting warm, Sal!

Salman: - Second, you destroy Saddam, Iran's arch-nemesis to the west, and replace his Baathist administration with a Shiite variety. Result - Iran holds sway over Iraq.

Bibi: - You have warmed up. Your analysis has a distinct Zionist streak within. I'm impressed. Keep talking!

Salman: - Third, you weaken the Sunni military governing Yemen by incessantly droning its crucial personnel, thus enabling Iranian-backed Houthis to gain ground. Result - Iran holds sway over Yemen.

Bibi: - You are good! It's a revelation. Salman, you are more astute than your grandfather, your father, and your horde of siblings put together. I trust you're not done!

Salman: - Fourth, your impending overthrow of Abdullah of Jordan and his Hashemite dynasty by using our Salafi boys and the CIA to install a Shiite-inspired Palestinian-friendly regime that would create a 'Palestinian Homeland' within Jordan, to conveniently solve your 'Palestinian problem' in the West Bank and Gaza. Result - Iran holds sway over Jordan.

Bibi: - Salman, I thought I was handling the conspiracy desk. To send Abdullah waxing away in France about democracy, terrorism, ISIS, and whatnot, was a hilarious sitcom. The King of Jordan was holding court for crying aloud. He was so convincing he had everyone rapt and gaping. I lost count of the standing ovations. Sometimes, Sal, I must be reminded that our western-educated scholar is part of our joint venture with ISIS 'Hornet's Nest. He's such a good actor, no?

Salman: - You are digressing, Mr Netanyahu. Talk to me!

Bibi: - I'll come clean. We are planning a coup to enable Iran to take over your Kingdom. It will take three years. I plan to finish this by 2018. Your impending execution of Ali al-Nimr amongst the other Shiites you have lined up will trigger the groundswell at the Eastern corridor, the precursor to your sacking. We appointed Qatar to 'handle' Iran. As you would have noticed, UAE opted out of the coalition to enable the Persians some wriggle room to take Syria while Moscow was tasked to provide cover. Bahrain has been compromised. The recent Shiite uprising was the 'canary in the coalmine' and the Turkey-Iran gas deal, which I trust you have analyzed. When the Shiites are at your door, NATO will look the other way. The Egyptians, Pakistanis, or whatever coalition of vassals stationed in your Kingdom will be trapped for some good old-fashioned 'Dunkirk' slaughter driven by the old Sunni-Shia beef. The 'big girls' that comprise your Saudi Land Force will be irrelevant, with their mommies shielding them from the Shiite onslaught, just as your F16s would be, with their avionics disengaged by our boys at General Dynamics. Running to Putin would be laughable, to say the least. The Bolsheviks have always been in our tank, ringing up our MIC. There is a good reason they are regarded as Rothschild's Red Symphony. Sal, my friend, I could unpack the rest of the nasty 'workflow,' but I wonder if the 'old ticker' can withstand it. I hear you're not well.

Salman: - Why, Mr Netanyahu. Why us! You reminded me of Sheikh Imran's pronouncement, "Israel and Saudi Arabia are Sisters." I believed and trusted you, given that we have been partners for close to a century and have been supplying your energy needs for just as long, not to mention covering your false flags now and then, engineering the birth of the Petrodollar with Kissinger and refereeing Yom Kippur to your advantage. Hence, I'm baffled as to why you would 'kill your golden goose' that has provided your necessary 'eggs' all this while?

Bibi: - That's a loaded question, Salman, but it comes with a simple answer. We consider the House of Saud the 'dreaded middleman' to the Petrodollar. We are removing you from the 'supply chain' to revive the greenback. Iran and the rest of OPEC are in the tank with us. Your Kingdom has evolved into an understudy of the 'dependence' culture of the Arabs juxtaposed with the 'shoulder to the wheel' approach of the Persians. I trust you will understand. It's business. Besides, this divide-and-conquer thing has a long Zionist history. Let's just say Mecca and Medina were too juicy plums for the Twelvers to refuse. 

Words, Tommy Peters.

Afterword: - This dialogue is defamatory to the relevant parties, but it is hard to defame murderers. Defaming the perpetrators is difficult, given the handiwork of the Zionist and the House of Saud in Gaza and Yemen, respectively (juxtaposed in this clip).